As part of meditation, we sometimes experience unpleasant physical sensations, most commonly in the knees, back or hips. When I started meditating, I was convinced the unpleasant sensations were happening because I hadn’t found the right posture or sitting position. I have heard teachers say many times through the years that physical discomfort will likely arise, and the instruction is to be with it to the extent that you can, to use it as an object of meditation. Find out what is true about it, as opposed to what are the stories we tell ourselves about it. And, if it becomes difficult to be with, shift your position. We can learn a lot about what our minds do with experiences that are unpleasant by staying with unpleasant or uncomfortable sensations and by watching what the mind and its reactions, and also seeing what the mind does in anticipation of a decision to shift, or in the aftermath of having shifted positions.
But, despite those instructions, I knew that everyone else had found the perfect posture. There had to be a posture that was comfortable for me, and it was my fault that I didn’t know what it was. Or I wasn’t sitting on the right kind of cushion, bench or chair, and I needed to find the right one. Once I found the right way to sit, the perfect posture, I would have lovely, peaceful, discomfort-free meditations.
So, I tried all kinds of sitting positions and postures . . . sitting on a cushion cross-legged on different kinds of cushions . . . kneeling on my knees supported by pillows underneath my behind . . . kneeling on a variety of benches of varying heights . . . sitting on a chair with my back against the back of the chair . . . sitting on a chair without touching the back support . . . sitting on the floor with back support. I would usually be comfortable for a period of time, but inevitably the physical discomfort would start, and I would start my quest for the perfect posture again.
Then, one day, I heard a teacher-friend say something like, “Ah . . . the universal search for the unattainable perfect posture.” I realized that I was not unique, and I finally got what the teachers had been saying all those years.
Here’s what I know now: There is no such thing as the perfect posture. Finding one that is comfortable is good, but be prepared for that to change. And different postures and ways to sit work differently for different people; unless you are very flexible, like an acrobat performing with Cirque de Soleil, there are likely to be postures and ways of sitting for each of us that are simply too uncomfortable. If that’s true, move on to a different way of sitting. There’s no glory in pain, so it’s worth doing some experimentation to find what works for you. At some point, though, know that some amount of discomfort will likely happen. If there is strong pain or you feel like you could injure yourself by continuing in that posture, definitely shift or find a different posture. But if you can stay with it, it can be a very fertile ground for discovery about your mind and how it works. Be as relaxed as possible, and watch to see when the discomfort goes away . . . because it will.
